E20: I feel guilty for grieving well
After the death of her mother, a grieving woman wonders if she's allowed to be happy again.
Listen to This Episode:
Dear Grief Guide,
I find myself in a paradoxical situation, where I'm genuinely happy and thriving after the loss of my mother, yet plagued by feelings of guilt. Despite the immense effort I've put into overcoming my grief, it feels wrong to be okay so soon after her passing.
I've worked tirelessly to reach this point of contentment—attending grief groups, getting therapy, and spending lots of time figuring out how to best carry my mother’s memory forward with me. But my contentment is accompanied by a sense of unworthiness. It's as if I can’t allow myself to feel happy after experiencing such a significant loss. I can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow cheating in the game of grief.
What exacerbates these feelings is that I am part of a grief support group that includes several people who are still intensely struggling with their losses. As Mother’s Day approaches, their pain is strong and palpable, while I find myself feeling real joy and cheerfulness most days. When I’m around them—and even when I’m alone—I feel guilty for grieving well, as if my happiness is some sort of betrayal to everyone who is still deep in their grief.
How do I reconcile these conflicting emotions and allow myself to fully embrace the happiness I've worked so hard to achieve without feeling guilty for moving forward?
Sincerely,
It’s Complicated
Ready to find your way after devastating loss? Check out my FREE workshop: Grow Through Grief: 3 Ways to Stop Feeling Stuck and Start Moving Forward.
Submit your anonymous letter for Dear Grief Guide here.
