E10: Stop Saying “I Can’t Imagine What You’re Going Through” to Grievers—Here’s Why

Written By Shelby Forsythia

You’ve probably heard it—or maybe even said it: “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” It sounds compassionate on the surface, but it often creates emotional distance instead of connection.

In this episode, I explain why this common sympathy phrase misses the mark for many grievers and what to say that’s actually comforting.

You'll learn:

  • Why “I can’t imagine” feels dismissive to grievers

  • The deeper message this phrase unintentionally sends

  • Short, compassionate alternatives to "I can't imagine what you're going through"

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Download the transcript for this episode here.

Shelby Forsythia

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com
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E11: 15 Grief Affirmations That Ground You WITHOUT Toxic Positivity
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E9: Mother’s Day, Grief, and the Healing Power of Poetry with William Bortz