Of Course I’m Here Right Now
Your compassionate, practical guide to comforting someone who's grieving—rooted in real-life scripts, not platitudes.
We’ve all been there…
When someone we care about is grieving, we want to help—but we don’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry,” feels empty.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” puts pressure on them to ask.
“Time heals all,” only makes things worse.
Instead of avoiding the conversation or saying something unintentionally hurtful, what if you had three simple phrases that always offered comfort?
Of Course I’m Here Right Now is your guidebook to supporting a grieving friend, family member, coworker, or client with confidence and compassion.
I’ll introduce you to the three essential phrases that, when used appropriately, provide immediate relief and long-term reassurance.
This book will help you…
Say something truly meaningful—even when words feel inadequate
Show up for your someone grieving in a way that strengthens your relationship
Stop second-guessing yourself and offer comfort that resonates
Whether you’re consoling someone after a death, divorce, diagnosis, or other major loss, Of Course I’m Here Right Now ensures you’ll never be at a loss for words again.
See what’s inside: Watch the free talk
Get a sneak peek of the transformative power of words inside Of Course I’m Here Right Now in this 10-minute book talk:
★★★★★
Advance Praise for Of Course I’m Here Right Now:
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Shelby has created a brilliant, necessary book that can help all of us build a more grief literate society. I cannot recommend it enough.
- Hope Edelman, author and founder of Motherless Daughters
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You will learn a whole new, memorable way to stand alongside a griever from the wisdom and experience Shelby offers us in this book.
- Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body
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No filler, no fluff; just what people going through the tough stuff truly need.
- Rebecca Soffer, bestselling author of The Modern Loss Handbook
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Shelby has spent years bravely exploring the depths of the “thoughts and prayers” abyss. In Of Course I’m Here Right Now, she emerges triumphantly with buried treasure: three phrases, almost magical in their simplicity, that readers can use to gently and thoughtfully comfort and support the grieving folks in their lives.
- Tyler Feder, author of Dancing at the Pity Party
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Bravo! Shelby crafted an instructional and thoughtful guide to offering meaningful grief support. She weaves together metaphor, humor, and compassion to help all of us show up, and most importantly keep showing up, for the grievers in our lives.
- Lisa Keefauver, MSW and author of Grief Is A Sneaky Bitch
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Of Course I’m Here Right Now will help you navigate the complexities of grief and inspire you to provide meaningful words to someone hurting.
- Penny Hawkins Smith (aka Hospice Nurse Penny), author of Influencing Death: Reframing Dying for Better Living
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This book left me feeling more equipped and more compassionate toward others and myself.
- Gabby Jimenez, hospice and palliative care nurse, end-of-life doula, death and grief educator, author, and founder of The Hospice Heart community
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Of Course I’m Here Right Now is a heartfelt, practical guide for anyone who wants to be a better friend in the face of grief.
- Allison Gilbert, coauthor, The Joy of Connections, and author, Passed and Present
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Shelby’s book helps you find not only the words but also the courage to say them.
- Christina Rasmussen, Author of Invisible Loss and Second Firsts
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A wonderful, in-depth and clear guide for what to say (and not say) to someone who is grieving.
- Colin Campbell, writer, director, and author of Finding the Words
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A smart, reassuring guide for anyone who wants to support a grieving person with real empathy, not empty clichés.
- Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, hosts of the Good Mourning podcast
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Of Course I’m Here Right Now is the missing grief support guidebook—accessible, practical, and essential for anyone caring for a grieving heart.
- Cole Imperi, author, thanatologist, and founder of the School of American Thanatology
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With her signature brilliant, easy-to-digest writing style, Shelby offers the perfect blend of an expert's wisdom, a coach's encouragement, and a teacher's instruction.
- Meghan Riordan Jarvis, MA, LICSW, trauma therapist, grief specialist, and author of Can Anyone Tell Me?
Dive deep into Of Course I’m Here Right Now in my free Supporting Someone blog and video series:
★★★★★
Readers are resonating with Of Course I’m Here Right Now:
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I read the whole thing in one evening and ended up covering it in sticky notes. It’s the kind of book you come back to, both to support other people and to better understand yourself. Simple, thoughtful, and actually usable in real life.
- Alida Miranda-Wolff, Goodreads review
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One of the most practical and emotionally attuned books I’ve read on how to show up for people in pain. Shelby has an amazing ability to translate complex emotional experiences into language that feels accessible, validating, and deeply human.
- Joey, Amazon review
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My new go-to book for when I'm at a loss for words in the face of grief. A treasure in the field of bereavement!
- Jana DeCristofaro, Amazon review
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This book is an incredible resource for showing up for those grieving. But as a griever, it’s been helpful in showing up for myself with self-talk that’s actually healing.
- Polly, Goodreads review
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"Of course", "I'm here", and "right now" correspond to three common pain points grievers have: that they're "crazy", that they're alone, and that they'll feel this level of pain forever. It's so clear and simple, and SO helpful. I've already used "Of course," "I'm here" and "right now" at least a dozen times since I've read the book.
- Hannah Rumsey, Amazon review
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The framework is helpful for people supporting in a short interaction, medical or professional setting, and people supporting loved ones over months and years post-loss. So many people don't know what to say or how to support someone in their life, and now they can.
- Amazon Customer, Amazon review
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I’ve read a lot of grief books in my career as a counselor, but this is the first one that provides practical tips, simple phrases and real life examples about how to let our loved ones know they are seen, heard and supported. Highly recommend!
- Chris, Amazon review
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As someone who has tried to support other grieving folks around me, I would have felt so much more confident having the OCIHRN framework in my pocket. I'm using it now, and it is truly changing the conversations I'm having around grief.
- Amazon Customer, Amazon review
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This much-needed book gives us gentle guidance and concrete examples so we can have the confidence to show up meaningfully when it matters most. I wish everyone would read it!
- Jenn Oglesbee, Goodreads review
Join the FREE private book club when you order!
We'll read Of Course I’m Here Right Now from cover to cover and share tips, scripts, and stories for comforting someone after a loss—whether you're a grieving person yourself or someone supporting a griever.
Book club begins September 9, 2026. Recorded replays will be available if you can't attend live.
Book Club Schedule:
We’ll gather on Zoom every Wednesday at 7:00pm Central Time.
Sep 9: Week 1 - Kickoff + Chapter 1: The Power of Words in Grief
Sep 16: Week 2 - Chapter 2: Why Words Matter + Chapter 3: The Three Stories
Sep 23: Week 3 - Chapter 4: Of Course
Sep 30: Week 4 - Chapter 5: I’m Here
Oct 7: Week 5 - Chapter 6: Right Now
Oct 14: Week 6 - Chapter 7: Being a Beacon of Comfort in a Grieving World + farewell
Press and Interviews Covering Of Course I’m Here Right Now:
New Books on Dealing with Loss
Publishers Weekly, March 2026
Why Does Grief Feel Like It Will Last Forever?
Trill Magazine, June 2026
What do I say to someone who is grieving?
Presbyterian News Service, March 2026
New ministry books for preaching, pastoral care and congregational life
The Presbyterian Outlook, July 2026
Grief Out Loud
The Deconstructionists
Heal Your Heartbreak
Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch
Dear Nina
End-of-Life University
The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
A Place of Yes
The Practice of Therapy
Friendship IRL
Death and Friends
This Is Not Church
Found Family
A Matter of Faith
Success, Rewritten
GRIEF Ladies
Order Of Course I’m Here Right Now and claim your FREE bonus.
Submit your receipt number for access to the private book club, beginning September 9, 2026.
Interested in hosting your own book club?
I created the Of Course I’m Here Right Now Book Club Facilitator’s Guide for online and in-person discussion groups that want to learn what to say to support someone grieving.
What’s Included:
Complete Hosting Scripts: Step-by-step instructions on how to gently open and close your discussion in a way that honors attendees’ vulnerability and story-sharing.
Flexible Event Layouts: Fully mapped-out discussion questions for either a single-session event or a structured 6-week curriculum.
Facilitator Guidance: Practical strategies for supporting attendees as they share their personal loss stories, including how to handle emotional distress and manage time with grace.
Curated Resource Guide: A hand-picked resource list categorized for supporters, grievers, and those navigating diverse losses.
Available for personal use (neighborhood book clubs, meetup groups) and organizational use (workplaces, medical/hospice centers, care teams):
Why do friendships become strained or disappear after a loss? Explore 8 reasons losing friends while grieving is so common, plus how to rebuild relationships with friends, family, and coworkers that honor your grief.