E15: Ask Shelby: Am I “Selfish” or “Self-Centered” for Grieving?

Written By Shelby Forsythia

When loss hits, it can feel like your whole world shrinks down to your own pain. And then someone says you’re being “selfish” or “self-centered” for grieving! In this episode, I unpack where those accusations come from—and why turning inward after loss isn’t shameful. In fact, it might be necessary for your healing.

You’ll learn:

  • Why grief feels so personal and consuming

  • What “selfish” actually means in the context of grief

  • How cultural and spiritual messages shape shame around “selfishness”

  • Reframes to take back your grief without apology

  • What to say when someone calls you “self-centered” for grieving

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Download the transcript for this episode here.

Shelby Forsythia

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com
Next

E14: When Every Month Is Griefy: Navigating Multiple Losses and Anxiety with Illustrator Tyler Feder