E44: How to Decide What to Keep After Someone Dies with Charlene Lam, Author of Curating Grief

Written By Shelby Forsythia

What do you do with a person’s things after they die? This week, Charlene Lam joins me to explore “the stuff of grief”—and how curating can become a meaningful, healing practice. We talk about her 3-step method, the roles objects play in grief, and why you may be more of a curator than you think.

You'll learn:

  • The “Three C’s” of curating someone's belongings after they die

  • The difference between "linking objects" and "evidence objects"—and why each is significant

  • The surprising ways you may have already curated your grief objects (I share several of mine!)

  • How to claim your role as a curator, even if you don't feel qualified, or if you're dealing with the aftermath of a messy or complicated loss

Listen to This Episode:

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Or Watch on YouTube:

Read Charlene's book Curating Grief, explore 1:1 coaching, and check out her online course Sorting the Stuff of Life and Loss:

https://www.charlenelam.com/

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I’m Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I’m Here Right Now book club:

https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I’m Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

 

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Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

 

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower and submit a question for the show:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Download the transcript for this episode here.

Shelby Forsythia

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com
Next

E43: Why “Time Heals All” Is a Lie—and What Grievers Need Instead