E62: Supporting Someone #10: The 7 Worst Things to Say to Someone Grieving—and What to Say Instead

Written By Shelby Forsythia

Lots of people say hurtful things to grievers—not out of cruelty, because they don't know what to say. While their intentions are helpful, their impact can be incredibly painful. I'm breaking down the seven worst phrases people say to grievers, why they miss the mark, and what to say instead using the Of Course I'm Here Right Now framework from my new book of the same name.

You'll learn:

  • Why meaning-making statements like "Everything happens for a reason" feel dismissive and oppresive

  • How vague phrases like "Sorry for your loss" leave grievers feeling unseen

  • Why toxic positivity and "at least" statements bury grief instead of honoring it

  • How silence—saying nothing at all—is often the most painful response of all

  • Simple, adaptable scripts you can use right now for any type of loss

Listen to This Episode:

E62: Supporting Someone #10: The 7 Worst Things to Say to Someone Grieving—and What to Say Instead
Shelby Forsythia, Grief Coach and Author

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Or Watch on YouTube:

Get my new book, Of Course I’m Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

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https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

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Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy:

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

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https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Download the transcript for this episode here.

Shelby Forsythia

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

https://www.shelbyforsythia.com
Next

E61: Ask Shelby: How Do I Come Back to Life After Loss? 5 Steps to Rebuilding Through Grief