15 Grief Affirmations for When You Feel Lost, Broken, or Alone
Grief is disorienting. It changes your relationship with time, your body, your future, and often, even your sense of self. Whether your loss is fresh or from years ago, there are days when grief makes you feel utterly broken, profoundly lost, or totally alone.
Affirmations won’t fix your grief—but they can help you hold it. When chosen with care and used with intention, affirmations can anchor you through chaos, soften a critical inner voice, and remind you that healing doesn’t require perfection.
As I’ve grieved the deaths of my mom and best friend and weathered many generally griefy seasons of life (I’m looking at you, COVID-19), words of affirmation have been a small, solid thing I’ve onto when it felt like everything else was falling apart.
Below are 15 grief affirmations, organized by the top three emotional experiences my Life After Loss Academy students say they face. Say them aloud. Write them down. Keep the ones that speak to you close by. And, as with any other tool that doesn’t resonate after loss, leave the rest.
May these words bring you comfort and a small chunk of solid ground as you navigate your own losses.
Affirmations When You Feel Lost
Grief often strips away your sense of identity, direction, and certainty. You may not know who you are without the person (or life) you lost, and it can feel overwhelming to move forward when you don’t know what’s up ahead.
In my first book, Permission to Grieve, I compared life after loss to an “involuntary scavenger hunt” in a forest with no clear path. You didn’t want to be here. And you don’t know where to go next. But you know that no matter what, time—and life—is marching on. So you do the best you can to hunt for small, helpful tools that get you through each day.
These affirmations honor the fog of grief without the pressure to be certain of where you’re going.
“I don’t have to know the end destination to take a step today.”
In a world of goal-oriented questions—”What do you want to be when you grow up?”, “When are you buying a house?”, “What’s next after school?”—it’s normal to feel a constant pressure to know for sure exactly where you’re going or what end result you’re aiming for. But the truth is, you don’t. Often, in life after loss, you can’t! When you’re unable to see the whole map, it’s okay to just take one step. When you release the need to know where you’re headed, you can focus on what you need and want in this moment.
“I am not lost; I am in a sacred season of searching.”
I love a good reframe. And this one takes the traditionally negative view of “lost” as “confused” or “disoriented” and positions it instead as a spiritual or soul-level recalibration. While you may not have many answers right now, many spiritual traditions celebrate the practice of searching. Consider this: You are not aimless; you are being invited to ask, question, and wonder.
“The person I’m becoming still belongs to the people I’ve lost.”
Many grievers tell themselves the stories “All is lost,” “Everything has changed,” or “Nothing will be the same again.” And while those stories have some measure of truth, life after loss is not starting from nothing. Even when you feel lost, the person that you are right now is made up of all the people you’ve loved and the versions of yourself that got you to this point in your life. You have foundations, memories, lessons, and wisdom at your disposal! Moving forward does not mean forgetting; it means bringing everything (and everyone!) with you.
“I am willing to wait and see what’s next for me.”
Grief is exhausting, and it’s very understandable that you might want to throw up your hands and say, “Screw it! I’m done trying to figure this out!” in response to the pain of loss. When you feel yourself at this breaking point, try any affirmation that starts with “I am willing.” Even if you don’t feel ready to take steps, being willing to see what’s next for you opens the door to curiosity. It’s another way of saying, “I may not have the energy right now to make an effort, but I’m open to receiving whatever comes next.” (Yep. It’s an affirmation for surrender in the face of lost-ness!)
“One day, I’ll understand that I was growing. Even here. Even now.”
This is a play on the “Even through grief, we are growing” sendoff that I end all of my podcast episodes with, and it’s rooted in the grief belief that even when you can’t see any evidence of it, some sort of growth is always happening. You may be focusing on stability, planting invisible roots in the ground. You may be focusing on recalibration, determining how to live through each new day. You might be pruning friendships or relationships or setting up boundaries around your heart. Even if none of these things ring true for you, consider that future-you will someday have words and meaning for this season of your life. You’ll look back and see all the tiny, powerful ways you were growing through this time.
Affirmations for When You Feel Broken
Loss shatters the life you knew. Your old normal is gone, and it’s easy to believe that grief has broken you beyond repair.
And in a society that prizes people who appear polished, smiling, and put-together, trying to live life after loss can make you feel like a molting, wind-battered pigeon in a sea of beautiful peacocks. One of my clients described it as “trying to build a new life in the rubble of a bomb going off and everyone wondering why you’re not doing better.”
These affirmations aren’t meant to force you back together into one piece—they’re here to remind you that brokenness doesn’t mean unworthiness.
“My grief is not a sign that something is wrong with me; it is a sign that I am human.”
Our society often teaches that pain is a signal that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. While this is true for something like a broken bone, it’s not necessarily true for grief. Continuing to feel pain after a loss means that you cared about the person, pet, relationship, or dream that you lost. In other words, feeling grief is not a defect; it’s a sign that your heart is working properly.
“When my heart is broken open, I am open to receive.”
This is an affirmation inspired by the Rumi quote, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” I wrote about it in my daily devotional, Your Grief, Your Way. Sometimes when we’re at our most beat-down, raw, and vulnerable, we are able to notice and receive things that we weren’t able to in our “life before.” These could be insights about the way we were living, how we arranged our priorities, who we held as friends, and how we took care of ourselves. What revelations are present in your brokenness? What messages are you receiving in this shattered place? These are the invitations present in this affirmation.
“Just like salt does not ruin the sea, grief does not ruin me.”
Grief lives within you—as it lives within all of us—but it doesn’t make you anything less. Whether you’re feeling stormy or still, frigid or warm and welcoming, you and your grief are valid. Just like the ocean, you can have many presentations—even chaotic, uncertain ones—and still consider yourself whole.
“I don’t have to feel fixed to be worthy of rest, joy, or belonging.”
This affirmation is a direct challenge to productivity culture and toxic healing narratives—aka “Good vibes only,” or “Keep calm and carry on.” Rest, joy, and belonging are not things you earn when you stop being broken. You deserve them right now as you are. In fact, just like grief, they are ingredients to your wholeness.
“I loved [insert loved one] in their brokenness. I can love me too.”
If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve probably loved and supported someone you care about through a season of brokenness. Use their name in this affirmation. This could be a friend whose parent died, a sibling who went through a divorce, or a neighbor who received a life-changing diagnosis. Remember how your heart ached for them and how you focused your energy on pouring compassion in their direction—whether through your words or actions. Considering how you showed up for someone else in their darkest hours can help you recognize that you are worthy of that same level of care for yourself. Not only that, but you have the ability to offer it because you’ve done it before!
Affirmations for When You Feel Alone
Loneliness in grief isn’t just about being physically alone—it’s the ache of feeling unseen, misunderstood, or excluded from circles you used to be a part of.
In my online community, Life After Loss Academy, we often talk about how, while everyone grieves, the person going through your unique loss and your unique circumstances is YOU. No one else can figure this out for you. They can help and support, but ultimately, your experience with grief is your own. And there is loneliness in that reality.
These affirmations speak to that aching space, where community may feel distant but connection is still possible.
“There are others who feel this too, even if I never meet them.”
In a moment of isolated despair, it can be incredibly comforting to picture yourself not floating alone in the vastness of space but surrounded by other grievers—near and far, past and present—who have been through what you’re going through right now. Even when you’re alone, you belong to all of us who have ever grieved. And your pain is part of a shared, invisible web of heartbreak.
“Even if no one sees my grief, I am still allowed to feel it.”
Some of the losses we face will never be acknowledged by the people closest to us—not to mention society at large. These sorts of disenfranchised griefs like pet loss, estrangement, job loss, chronic illness, and infertility are valid, but it’s common for us to try to talk ourselves out of treating them like the “major losses” they are. Even if no one around you sees or understands the depths of your heartache, you are still allowed to feel it. Give yourself permission to call it grief and to make space for it. Life becomes a little less lonely when you stop trying to convince yourself that your emotions are invalid and start seeing your pain as real.
“I am not alone. Grief is beside me always. Love is beside me always.”
One of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Gilbert, often writes about driving a car with both creativity and fear along for the ride. In life after loss, I like to think of grief and love as coming along for the ride. No matter where you go or what you do, grief is present AND love is present too. What does grief have to say about where you are now? What does love have to say in response? Reframing your loneliness as a three-way conversation between you, grief, and love is one way to feel supported as you move forward.
“I am surrounded, protected, and cared for in ways I’ll never know.”
Whether you believe that your loved ones have the power to support you after death or you have a strong network of friends and family who care about you in real life, this affirmation is all about shifting your focus from loneliness to love. After a breakup in college, someone encouraged me to make a “love tree” of everyone in my life who wanted good things for me. My list was so long it surprised me. And even if my list of people never reached out with comforting words or actions, simply pausing for a moment each day to think of my “tree” of loved ones surrounding me brought me peace.
“[My person or pet] comes with me every single day.”
As you continue to live life after loss, it’s normal to notice all the ways your loved one is no longer present. And that’s heartbreaking. But also, in life after loss, you get to choose how you would like to carry them forward. Do you want to be a walking embodiment of their selflessness, humor, kindness, or friendliness? Do you want to continue their habit of making morning tea, donating to causes, or complimenting a stranger? You decide how you want your loved one to show up in your day-to-day life. This brings their presence closer to you and can help you feel like they’re with you in each moment.
How to Use These Grief Affirmations
There are lots of ways to fold affirmations into your life:
Say them aloud in the mirror, in the shower, or in bed before you go to sleep
Write them on sticky notes and post them around your home
Use one as a journal prompt each morning or evening
Pick one to repeat when overwhelm or hopelessness sets in
Record yourself (or someone you love) saying them and play the recording back when you feel untethered
Use them as inspiration to write your own
Please know, there is no wrong way to use an affirmation. And remember, the goal of saying affirmations isn’t to erase your pain—it’s to speak truth to your grief in a way that honors both your humanity and your heartbreak. It’s a way to root yourself into something that feels solid right now, so you can keep moving forward in the way that works best for you.
Closing Thoughts
Grief can leave you unmoored—disconnected from the world, your people, and even yourself. And while no words can undo that ache, helpful ones can offer a little structure in the shapelessness.
These affirmations aren’t meant to bypass your pain or polish it into something prettier. They’re here to help you stay present with what’s true, soften what hurts, and remind you that even through grief, you are still growing.
Let them meet you exactly where you are. 💚
