Are You Ready for Grief Coaching? 3 Questions to Ask Before You Get Support

Grief can make reading hard. Want to listen to this article instead? Find its corresponding podcast episode here.

So you’ve experienced a devastating loss. A death, a divorce, a diagnosis, or another life-altering event that’s shaken your sense of safety, identity, normalcy, and direction. And now you’re asking the big question: What now?

Maybe you’ve heard about grief coaching from a friend, therapist, or even a stranger on the internet who mentioned it was helpful for them. Maybe you’ve never heard about grief coaching before, but you’re curious about what support actually looks like beyond just casseroles and cliché condolences. Or maybe you’re just tired of feeling stuck and wondering if there’s a way through loss other than society’s prescriptions of “Stay busy!” and “Just get over it!”

To be clear: you’re not looking for someone to fix you. You’re looking for something to guide you through the overwhelm and disorientation. Some sense that healing is possible, even when you know that nothing will ever be the same.

Grief coaching can give you space to process your emotions, guidance through the weirdness and exhaustion of life after loss, and small, practical tools that help you take your next steps forward.

But how do you know if grief coaching is right for you?

Before you dive in, here are three questions to ask yourself that can help you figure out whether grief coaching is what your heart actually needs.

1. Am I Feeling Stuck in My Grief—and Am I Ready for Something to Shift?

The pain point I hear most often from grieving people isn’t “sad,” “angry,” or even “heartbroken.” It’s stuck.

(I recently surveyed 100+ grievers about their losses. You can read my findings here!)

Here’s some examples of what that sounds like:

• “I feel like I’m spinning in circles.”

• “I know I’m not where I used to be, but I have no idea where I’m going.”

• “I can’t figure out how to move forward without leaving my loved ones behind.”

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and you're not broken. Feeling stuck is a normal part of grief, especially in a world that expects you to “bounce back” or “move on” wayyyyyy too quickly.

But here’s one thing I learned after my mom’s death and something I share with my grieving clients and students: stuck does not equal powerless.

Grief coaching isn’t about fixing you so you never get stuck again. It’s about giving you tools, structure, and compassionate guidance inside the stuckness so that you can start move forward in the way that feels best to you.

For my Life After Loss Academy student, Aja, this looked like beginning to picture grief as a well-meaning companion instead of a burden that was dragging her down:

Inside my online course + community Life After Loss Academy, we talk openly about defining what stuckness means to you and use my 5-step GRIEF Method to move through it.

You’re not forced to “let go” or “get over it.” Instead, you learn how to build a life with your grief in a way that feels aligned with your heart, energy, and goals for yourself.

And if you don’t know what your goals for yourself are yet, we talk about that too! When it comes to grief coaching, what matters is most is your desire for your current circumstances to change. Some students say they want to feel more peace or more power inside of their grief. Other want to create memorial altars for loved ones, set firm-but-kind boundaries with unsupportive friends, or find meaning again. In Life After Loss Academy, it all belongs.

2. Am I Open to Receiving Feedback, Tools, and Compassionate Support?

Grief can be incredibly destabilizing. And after a major loss, the last thing you may want is someone telling you what to do.

That’s not what grief coaching is about.

But it is about support that’s active. Thoughtful. Strategic. Personalized-to-you.

It’s about getting you the tools and support you need to navigate everything from the disorientation of early grief to awkward family dynamics at the holidays.

So the question here is: Are you open to being gently guided—offered feedback, perspective, and practical strategies that might help you carry your grief in a way that feels less heavy?

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

• You might be invited to write letters, track emotional patterns, or build rituals.

• You might be asked to use reframes and metaphors that challenge how you see grief.

• You might be encouraged to set boundaries with people committed to misunderstanding your grief.

• You might be urged to experiment with different paths for your future.

None of it is prescriptive. All of it is optional. But each tool, question, exercise, metaphor and reframe is designed to help you return to yourself again and feel connected to your losses in ways that feel healing to you.

After several weeks receiving grief coaching from me inside Life After Loss Academy, one of my students Kim simply wrote:

In Life After Loss Academy, you’re not going through grief alone. You’re doing it with a community of other grievers who “get it,” and a coach (me!) who meets you with compassion, curiosity, and nonjudgment. While you can certainly watch the lessons and complete the worksheets on your own schedule, there’s no such thing as “fending for yourself.”

You may have experienced your loss alone. But you can heal from it in community.

3. Do I Have the Time, Energy, and Emotional Bandwidth to Engage Right Now?

This question is not about whether you're strong enough or doing grief right. It's about capacity, which can be limited after loss.

Grief is exhausting. And if you're also:

• Parenting or caregiving

• Working full-time

• Managing other people’s needs

• Navigating financial stress

• Or just trying to get through the day without crying in the grocery store...

...then it makes sense that you might not feel up to doing something else right now—even if that something could help.

Grief coaching (and Life After Loss Academy) doesn’t require you to show up perfectly. But it does require some amount of time, energy, and willingness. You don’t have to be “ready” in the conventional sense—because when are we ever really ready to do the hard and heart work of grief??—but you do need to be open to the idea that you matter, your grief matters, and your healing is worth making space for.

And just to be clear: “making space” might mean doing grief-exploring exercises for 30 minutes a week on your lunch break. It might mean listening to video lessons at 2 a.m. when you can’t sleep. It might mean crying through a live coaching call because you finally heard someone say out loud what you’ve been carrying in silence.

Take this comment from Claire, a student in Life After Loss Academy:

I often tell prospective coaching clients, “If you have time to think about how your grief might be different, you have time for grief coaching.” Thinking about the future is a sign that your brain is considering small changes and next steps—things a grief coach can absolutely help you navigate. It’s a subtle shift from surviving each day to wondering how you might thrive in the weeks, months, and years ahead.

What Happens If You’re Not Ready Yet?

If your answer to one or more of these questions is “no,” that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean you’re failing at grief. It just means you’re still finding your footing.

Grief is a long-haul experience. There will be seasons where the idea of grief coaching feels like too much—and that’s completely valid. You can come back to it when you have a bit more space, time, energy, or capacity.

But if even a part of you answered “yes” to one of these questions... then maybe it’s time for you to move through your grief with a grief coach!

Ready to Get Unstuck? Join Life After Loss Academy for Grief Coaching and Community Support

Life After Loss Academy is for grieving people who want more than just survival. It’s for people who want support and solid tools. Who want community and coaching. Who want to build a life that includes their grief, their joy, and their future.

Inside the course + community, you’ll:

• Learn how to get grounded when life feels unstable

• Release heavy emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and despair

• Integrate your losses in meaningful ways

• Establish healthy boundaries with people who aren’t supportive

• Foster a lifelong relationship with your grief that includes hope and joy

If you’re tired of feeling stuck, alone, or like you’re doing it all wrong...

And if you’re craving structure, support, and a community of other people who understand...

Then it’s time to check out Life After Loss Academy.

You can learn more about becoming a student and read even more testimonials here.

Closing Thoughts

Just like there’s no “perfect” way to grieve, there’s no perfect time to start grief coaching. But asking yourself a few mindful questions can help you tune into what your grief really needs in this season.

Whether your answer is yes, no, or maybe know this: you’re allowed to take your time, you’re allowed to want more for yourself, and when you’re ready to get support, I’ll be here.

I can help you grow alongside your grief—instead of struggling to “get over it.”

Want to see if Life After Loss Academy is right for you? Take this free 2-minute quiz.